


valentie hotline [tua dialogue au]

by hiorheyhailey



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-21 15:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18143978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiorheyhailey/pseuds/hiorheyhailey
Summary: ** This is a DIALOGUE based story. meaning the story is only dialogue!!Chloe is bolded! Five is italicized.Five can't confide in anyone. His siblings are dealing with their own shit, and he's a grown man in a fifteen year old boy's body. The first time he hears a radio ad for valentine hotline, he thinks it's bullshit. A matchmaking hotline? No way. Not for real. And the the second time, he considers it. And the third, he dials the number.





	1. prologue

"Valentine Hotline, I'm your cupid please state your name, age, location, gender, and sexual orientation."

"Uh- Five Hargreeves, 15, Ontario, male, straight. I just want someone to talk to."

"Aright." The operator paused "I'll be connecting you now. Please stay on the line."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"..."_

**"..."**

**"Hello?"**

_"Oh um, Hey."_

**"Hey yourself."**

_"Are you-"_

**"No."**

_"Alright, well do you-"_

**"No."**

_"20 questions?"_

**"What's your name?"**

_"Five. What's yours?"_

**"Five? I'm Chloe. Are you in school?"**

_"Oh. No."_

**"Oh, well how old are you?"**

_"It's my turn."_

**"Ok."**

_"What grade are you in?"_

**"I'm a freshman, 14."**

_"Yeah, I'm 15."_

**"Okay. Well. I hope you're not looking for anything serious."**

_"I just want- need, someone to talk to."_

**"Okay."**

_"Can I talk to you?"_

**"Yeah, I guess."**

_"I just need an escape. I have no one. This hotline was my last resort. I don't know what brought you here, but I know that I'm desperate for someone to pay attention to me."_

**"Wow. That's deep. What are you doing right now?"**

_"I- uh- I locked myself in my closet."_

**"Haha, why?"**

_"My siblings are really annoying."_

 

**"I'm sorry. How many do you have?"**

_"Six. And a half."_

**"A half?"**

_"My brother, Ben. He died a few years ago. But he's still here."_

**"Hey- what's your address?"**

_"1315 Ever Street. Why?"_

**"I'm gonna send you a gift."**

_"Why?"_

**"I've enjoyed your company Five. And I think you'll like it."**

_"Okay. Well thanks I guess."_

**"Are you a virgin?"**

_"That's an odd question Chloe."_

**"So you are?"**

_"No. I'm not a virgin."_

**"Cool."**

_"Yeah."_

**"I'm not either."**

_"Cool."_

**"Yeah."**

**"Hey Five I've gotta go. But I'll call you tomorrow, what's your number?"**

_"523-8940"_

**"Okay. Bye."**

_"Bye."_


	2. one

_"Hi Chloe."_

**"Hi Five. What's up?"**

_"Nothing. I'm home alone, luckily."_

**"Did you get my gift?"**

_"Yeah. Yeah I got it."_

**"And you liked it?"**

_"It was.. nice?"_

**"You hated it."**

_"No I don't mean that. It's just not what I expected."_

**"Shit."**

_"Who's that yelling?"_

**"Leah. My brother's girlfriend. Probably about something I did."**

_"Like what you sent me?"_

**"She doesn't know about that stuff."**

_"Do you think at fifteen you should be mailing stuff like that?"_

**"So you didn't like it then? What kind of teenage boy are you?"**

_"I'm just not into it."_

**"Not into me, or what I sent?"**

_"No, no. You're beautiful- I mean, I didn't really want to know what you looked like."_

**"Fair. So you're gay?"**

_"What? No. I save that shit for my siblings."_

**"Asexual?"**

_"Maybe. I don't know. I prefer things done the right way."_

**"Aw. An old soul and a romantic."**

_"Yeah, No kidding."_

**"Hey. Leah's calling me. I gotta go."**

 

_**click** _


End file.
